im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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