And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
