Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
