shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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