Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
