from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
