Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
