I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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