dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
