Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
