I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
