Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
