yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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