no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
