Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found puke in my bra..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
