I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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