I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Are my feet made of real feet?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
