Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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