Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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