WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
