I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
