Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
