So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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