I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
