I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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