my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
