Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
