So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
