pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
