About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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