She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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