Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wish there were birth control emojis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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