Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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