lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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