I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
