Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
