I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
vagina is talking i cant
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize