Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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