her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
