my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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