when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My breasts were aching with rage.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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