He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
