dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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