His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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