The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
