can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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