Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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