return my video game
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize