I need help removing her.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
