2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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