Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
