it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
