I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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