No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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