How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
