:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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