I puked a lego.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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