i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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