if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
